From Church Bulletins – To Err Is Human

1. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the North and South end of the church. The children will be baptized at both ends.
2. At 8:30 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk are asked to come early.
3. The Ladies Literary Society will meet and Mrs. Johnson will sing “Put me in my little bed” accompanied by the minister.
4. At 7 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mother’s Club. All wishing to become little mothers please meet the pastor in his study.
5. This being Easter Sunday we will ask Mrs. Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
6. Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.
7. Potluck supper Thursday night; prayer and medication to follow.
8. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
9. For those of you have children and don’t know it we have a nursery downstairs.
10. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
11. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music to follow.
13. The sermon topic at the evening service will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
14. The minister will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing “Break Forth With Joy.”
15. Today … Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park at the rear parking lot for this activity.
16. The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
17. The ‘ eighth’ graders will be performing Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

                                 CHURCH SIGNS

1. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
2. Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!
3. Fight truth decay – study your Bible daily.
4. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
5. It’s not likely that there will be a reduction in the wages of sin.
6. Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
7. In the dark? Follow the Son.

                One Way to Make Money for the Church

Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish and he asked for some suggestions as to how he could raise some funds for the church. He was told that the horse dealer always was flush with cash. Why not pick his brain? Father Murphy did so and was advised to attend the horse auction. Father Murphy did so but became confused, got into the bidding spirit, and purchased a donkey.

Father Murphy decided to enter the donkey in a local race. It finished in 3^rd place.

The following day’s paper headlined “Father Murphy’s Ass Shows”.

When the Archbishop saw the paper he was ‘greatly displeased.’

Next day, in another race, the donkey came in first followed by the paper’s headlines: “Father Murphy’s Ass Out in Front”.

The Archbishop was up in arms and figured something had to be done. In the meantime Father Murphy, on a winning roll, entered the donkey in yet another race where it placed 2^nd.

“Father Murphy’s Ass Back in Place”.

This was just too much for the Archbishop who forbade the Priest to enter the donkey in the next day’s race. The subsequent headlines read: “Archbishop Scratches Father Murphy’s Ass”.

Finally the Archbishop ordered Father Murphy to get rid of the donkey. Unable to sell it Father Murphy gave it to Sister Agatha for a pet. When the Archbishop heard of this he ordered Sister Agatha to dispose of the animal immediately. She sold it for $10.00.

The next day the paper’s headline read: “Sister Agatha Peddles Her Ass for Ten Dollars”.

Sad to report they buried the Archbishop three days later.